August 2006 at a Wyoming Guest Ranch

Five Years Across America: Year 1 - Wyoming & Montana

Series originally published as micro-posts March 2024 -March 2025. Republished as long posts in 2026.

Names have been changed, except for well-known places like states, cities, campgrounds, mass retailers, etc.

5 Years Across America; Year 1 - Wyoming; August 2, 2006

Wednesday, August 2, 2006

​I came to Gone Ridin’ Ranch yesterday. It rained in the morning, so I met Sam, the manager, when he was in town picking up guests and I followed him in. I probably would have nearly gotten lost if I hadn’t, but then again, he gave me good directions. They didn’t want me to work yesterday, so I wandered around and met people. 

Today, I was on the 6:30-2:30 shift, shadowing a waitress and housekeeper, which is what I’ll be doing. The waitressing work is overwhelming and a little frightening. I know I can do it. Maybe tomorrow will be better because I’ve had an introduction.

Off time is just as hard. I don’t think I’ve ever felt as lost and lonely and out-of-place as I have on this trip. Adventuring is not exciting. It’s nerve wracking. Then again, without an element of the unknown, the excitement is of a different kind. When you look forward to something, that’s excitement. What’s this other feeling?

Yesterday was rainy and cold. This morning at 6:30, it was 34 F and there was a frost. In August! 

This land is beautiful. The people are nice. The job is daunting.

I am a musician. When will my interests, talents, and core being combine? What can I do to make it happen? As yet, I have no dream, only vague ideas and points of greater or lesser interest.

As I was writing, Alex, the dog, lay down and let me pet her for a long time. It was just what I needed.

5 Years Across America; Year 1 - Wyoming; August 3, 2006

Thursday, August 3, 2006

​It’s 3:15 p.m. and I just woke up from a 2-hour nap. My roommates are very noisy and stay up late. 

I worked 6:30-10:30 and have another shift from 6:00-10:00 today. They want me to get experience serving breakfast and dinner. Lunch is easy. Everyone gets the same thing. They sit down and you give them a plate. Taking orders is intimidating.

Today has been good because I was allowed to actually do things, but I always had someone to ask if I wasn’t sure I was doing it right. Tonight, supper is a buffet, but people might order wine. I know nothing about wine.

This seems to be a wild land where people live in and with nature instead of having a myriad of accommodations to keep away from nature as much as possible. 

Alex is running in circles, trying to round up and herd the wild birds. It doesn’t seem to be working.

5 Years Across America; Year 1 - Wyoming; August 4 2006

Friday, August 4, 2006

​I took orders at breakfast. No major problems. It wasn’t as bad as I anticipated. It’s hard knowing if I’m doing a satisfactory job, but I’m getting used to just doing something because it seems like it needs to be done and then if I later get asked to do it, not taking it to mean that I did it poorly the first time. They probably just didn’t realize I had already done it.

I’m so tired, but it’s too late for a nap now.

I took a walk through the prairie. Is that what you call it? I’m not sure what to call the flatlands between the mountains. I think I saw Indian paintbrush and blue lupine.

I need a book to read.

I need to find my writing paper. I want to write Mom and Dad a letter, especially since email here is almost impossible. 

It’s an hour a a half until supper. It’s too cloudy to go walking. I don’t want to get caught in the rain. I need something to do. There’s no privacy to practice the flute. I only have a book of poems and poetry isn’t engaging like a story. I need a novel.

5 Years Across America; Year 1 - Wyoming; August 5, 2006

Saturday, August 5, 2006

I took a 2-hour nap again today. I worked the opening and closing shifts.

I hung out with the wranglers for an hour and watched them build a fence.

The days all seem the same. The name of the day doesn’t make a difference. 

I don’t like it when people make me be sociable like they did last night. “Come sit close to us.” “Come up to the room and be sociable.”

Please! Just leave me alone. I’ll be sociable when I want to. I had to take a long walk afterwards to be anywhere near relaxed enough to sleep. For good politics and civility, I tried, but I’d rather be alone. If it were guests, I could perform, but I shouldn’t have to perform on my off time.

Although I am quickly coming to love this land, I still don’t like all the open spaces and how long and hard it is to get out of sight and into some privacy. 

5 Years Across America; Year 1 - Wyoming; August 6, 2006

Sunday, August 6, 2006

​I worked 6:30 - 2:30. I served the staff breakfast alone. It worked out well. After we cleaned up from the guest breakfast, I helped with housekeeping. All the guests left this morning and new ones are coming today. Check-in is after 4:00. We have a family of 6 and one of 5 coming together. I know we’ll have more guests this week, but I’m not sure when they’re arriving.

I practiced flute for an hour today, taking advantage of the absence of all the girls. I’m abominably out of condition.

I cleaned our room as best as I could. I need to buy some cleaning supplies.

I had an hour nap. I am not tired. Sitting here, though, I could go motionless on the doorstep, absorbing sun and wind and not thinking of anything and somehow thinking more deeply than with conscious thought.

Lovers of much activity and excitement would, I think, have trouble here. Sure, work is work and it can be slow or busy, routine or interesting, as the day comes. Afterwards, though, one is left to one’s own devices, and the pace is slower than anywhere else I’ve been before.

Lots of flies here, all of different sizes.

5 Years Across America; Year 1 - Wyoming; August 7, 2006

Monday, August 7, 2006

I worked 2:30-Close today. I’m doing laundry now. I got up at 5:30; I decided to keep to a schedule. I can get a nap after lunch.

Last night my roommate brought a boy in. They were going out and it was barely a minute, so it wasn’t that big of a deal, even though she knew I was in bed. 

The problem came when, a little after 4:00 a.m., they came in, stumbling drunk by the sounds of it, and both got into her bed. For once I was glad for the top bunk. Feeling the earthquake was bad enough. I didn’t want to see it.

I got little sleep after that, but when the alarm went off at 5:30, I was ready to get out of the room. I’m glad the bathroom door locks. I sped through getting ready. By 6:15, I was standing in the tool room, out of the wind, writing a letter and waiting for 6:30 when I knew the lodge would be open. 

I came back to the room at 7:30 and my roommate was leaving, but the boy was still sleeping. I didn't even make a pretense of being quiet. It was rude for him to come. He’s not an arranged guest, and it’s high time he was gone. I want to know next time she thinks she might bring a boy over at night so that I can make other arrangements for myself, if possible.

A lot of guests wanted beer today. I was serving alone and the afternoon was hectic. At least with beer, you just have to find the right bottle and make sure it’s cold.

I don’t really like working with Keith, the cook. I never know what will set him off. He never says anything that’s not his right to say and he’s not rude, but it feels like he’s picking on me. I try not to take it personally, but I’m always on edge when working with him. 

We had a filling lunch, for once. We were able to get seconds and dessert.

5 Years Across America; Year 1 - Wyoming; August 8, 2006

Tuesday, August 8, 2006

​I wanted to practice this morning, but figured if people were sleeping upstairs, they wouldn’t appreciate that.

Woke up at 6:00 to thunder and lightning. The wind and storm were from the east this morning.

The hummingbirds at the feeders seem to multiply. We now have eight. I guess they went and told their friends where the food is. There are some green flowers on the bushes below the feeders, and the birds eat from them, too.

My punctuation grammar seems to be getting worse.

All these people have seen coyote, fox, moose, elk, and bear. I’m jealous. I haven’t seen much. Not even a rabbit. I know I’ve only been here a week and haven’t been on the trails much, but I wanna see stuff, too.

It’s August and I’m using a heater. It was expected, but knowing and experiencing are two different things, sometimes. What will this winter be like?

5 Years Across America; Year 1 - Wyoming; August 9, 2006

Wednesday, August 9, 2006

​We had a cookout for the guests last night and Robert the Mountain Man came and gave a talk. He belongs to an organization of about 600 who practice the skills of mountain men and sometimes live the lifestyle. 

Robert came riding in, whopping and speaking what I guess is an Indian language. He is dressed in buckskin and his face is covered in red and black paint. He talks about the history and life of mountain men, showing the tools, springing a trap, and shooting a rifle. He also tells stories about mountain men from the 1800s. 

The guests seem to enjoy him. It gets boring for the staff, but the guests’ reactions can be amusing. The two times I’ve seen him, they have asked some intelligent questions.

I had today off and went on a 4-hour ride led by Wes, one of the older wranglers. We had lunch at a cowboy cabin that hasn’t been used in some years. Wes caught me crying.

In a way, I don’t mind because he was really nice about it and I think he’ll keep his own council. I just hope he believes me that it had nothing to do with him. I don’t know what was wrong. Same thing as always since I got here - an unexplained emotional switch. 

We saw several antelope, including a baby. We also saw some skeletons. They looked like something out of a dinosaur movie. (Then again, I’ve never actually seen a dinosaur movie.)

On the way back, we had a lot of wind and that was therapeutic. Still, it’s taken a good nap to get me back even. I don’t want to blame the emotional swings on lack of sleep. I get 7-8 hours at night and 1-2 most afternoons. At summer camp, I would work off of 5-7 hours and be tired, but emotionally fine. Who knows?

Ezra, another cook, is really nice. He’s never scolded or made fun of me and he’s always glad to help. Yesterday, I was trying to open a box of wine bottles and bent my nail back past the quick. He stopped what he was doing, even though I know he was super busy, and opened the box for me. When he saw I was bleeding, he ran all over the lodge and then up to his room to get me a Band-Aid. Then he helped me open and re-cork the bottle.

5 Years Across America; Year 1 - Wyoming; August 10, 2006

Thursday, August 10, 2006

The air was thick with smoke this morning. I thought the fire might be in the west because the smoke was so thick there. Really, it is 5-6 miles east of here.

At supper, I had to bring a bottle of wine to a table of English guests. I’ve never had to bring out the bottle before, so I wasn’t sure what to do with the cork. We had opened the bottle in the kitchen. 

I put the bottle on the table. They said “thank you” and started talking. I stood there holding the cork for a few seconds thinking, “Do I set it on the table? Hand it to them? Put it in the bottle?”

In the end, I asked, “Do you want the cork?”

They took it and that was that.

It probably wasn’t the most polite phraseology, but it had to come to the point where I had to do something or leave.

5 Years Across America; Year 1 - Wyoming; August 11, 2006

Friday, August 11, 2006

I spent the morning rearranging and cleaning. My roommate moved into the other room, so I have this space to myself. 

I practiced for over an hour. 

I think Thursday supper, the southwest buffet, is my favorite. There are strips of chicken with onion and pepper, black beans, rice, and all kinds of toppings. We have cheese, lettuce, tomato, onion, salsa, tomato and onion thick salsa, freshly made guacamole, and maybe jalapeños or black olives or whatever else the cook prepares. There are corn and flour tortillas and corn chips, tortilla style, but I usually just eat the fillings because it is easier.

5 Years Across America; Year 1 - Wyoming; August 12, 2006

Saturday, August 12, 2006
​
It’s hard to believe I’ve been here for 12 days - nearly half a month!

This morning the valley was so thick with smoke that I couldn’t see the western hills. By 11:00, the wind changed and within the hour the smoke was clear.

I worked 6:30-2:30. By 1:00, I was so tired that I felt sick. As soon as I got off at 2:30, I brushed my teeth and went to bed until 4:30.

Now, I am doing laundry and running the car for 10 minutes so that it doesn’t die on me.

5 Years Across America; Year 1 - Wyoming; August 14, 2006

Monday, August 14, 2006

​Today is my sister’s birthday. I was really missing her yesterday. In the more than 5 years since I went to college in September 2000, I haven’t missed her or felt sad that we were apart on our birthdays like I did yesterday. 

When I went on my walk last night, I heard several more coyote howls and barks. I can pretend they are for me because I don’t speak much and keep silence on what I feel.

On my walk today, I saw a bag of coins with a hole in the corner. I followed the trail of pennies, picking them up. It looked like they might have come off of the horse trail that runs into the road. I brought the bag back and gave it to Sam. 

I just got mail from Mom and Dad - my first letter here!

5 Years Across America; Year 1 - Wyoming; August 15, 2006

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

​They are starting to put out the wildfire. I can see their camp on a hillside to the west.

My hands aren’t cracking quite as bad, but they still have cracks and feel like fine-grain sandpaper on the backs. I’ve been using lotion and petroleum jelly for the cracks. Wes 2, the fisherman, said to put petroleum jelly all over my hands and let it soak in and to use a good-quality lotion. I’ve tried the jelly yesterday and today and it helps. 

Keith was quite talkative and congenial today. He even caught himself once and changed sh** to cr**. He said that I would do well here in the winter.

We had very good homemade pizza for lunch. There were only 7 staff members present, so there was plenty to eat and cleanup was easy.

At breakfast, Sam asked the wranglers about the bag of coins I found yesterday. Nobody knew anything about it. Now I have a bag of coins, pills, and a bottle of gloves. All but the coins will go in the trash. 

Summer staff are leaving, a few at a time, depending on when their colleges start.

5 Years Across America; Year 1 - Wyoming; August 16, 2006

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Keith had chocolate chip pancakes and chocolate French toast with strawberry sauce for breakfast.

Dad sent me an email through the ranch. That was embarrassing. Why didn’t he email me directly? In it, he promises me a package.

I was going to call home, but realized at 7:00 a.m. that they’d probably be in bed.

I made a slideshow of family pictures and added music. I also made one of my trip and one of nature pictures.

I’ve been practicing flute for an hour nearly every day. I’m quickly getting back into condition. I actually like practicing technical stuff, including with a tuner, again. You could say I’ve wasted a year and a half, but I think a lot of good things have come from the break, assuming I keep going like I’ve started this month.

5 Years Across America; Year 1 - Wyoming; August 17, 2006

Thursday, August 17, 2006

​Last night, a dog whined and barked all night. At 6:00 this morning, she was scratching and whining at my door. I peeked out and saw a basset hound. The door opening really set her off. I found out at breakfast that her name is Sophy and she belongs to the ranch above us. Her front right paw is at an angle and all her nails are at least almost 2 inches long. 

I wish I had had a tape recorder last night. One of her barks is the perfect example of what staccato quarter notes should sound like.

5 Years Across America; Year 1 - Wyoming; August 20, 2006

Sunday, August 20, 2006

​Today I worked 6:30-1 and 5-8:30. I only slept for 1.5-2 hours this afternoon, compared to 3 hours yesterday.

The fire is still going. It’s up to 85,000 acres. The encampment of firefighters on the hills is breaking up. Only the helicopter division is staying. Starting Monday, they will eat breakfast and supper here and we will send packed lunches with them.

It was 30* F this morning, but hot in the afternoon.

I sent my check home so that Mom can deposit it for me.

5 Years Across America; Year 1 - Wyoming; August 22, 2006

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Staff are eating with the firefighters. The Chief said the fire is 10-11 thousand acres and moving away from us. The border closest to us is mostly secure and is about 7 miles away.

Today is my day off, but I am serving at guest breakfast 8-9 because we are short-handed. It gives me something to do. There was no room for me on a ride.

This morning, I sat around and talked to Penny and Savia. Penny grew up in Ireland, near Belfast. She is now married and lives near London. Savia is Italian, married to an American and lives in Connecticut. 

They told me to have the confidence to do what I want, to be confident in myself, and that nothing is more attractive than a confident woman. They said these are things they didn’t learn until their 30s and 40s, but wished they knew in their 20s. 

In the afternoon, a little before 1:00, the three of us started up the canyon. About 2:00, they turned back and I kept going. I went over the hill and followed the trail to the road. I went down the road 5-10 minutes and saw a sign that said Soda Lake was 1 mile back. I walked down the connecting road a little to see how far I was from the ranch. It looked like I could walk it in less than an hour, so I turned around and went to Soda Lake. It was nice, but small, almost a pond. The ground was littered with broken glass and cigarette butts. I got back to the ranch around 4:30.

On the Soda Lake road, I saw one print in the middle of the road, but I couldn’t find any others like it. It was almost wider than my two spread hands. I drew it and Wes said it was a bear print.

5 Years Across America; Year 1 - Wyoming; August 25, 2006

Friday, August 25, 2006

I got two packages and a letter today. Dad sent me some food, a furry vest, some bath sponges, and some playing cards. My sister sent me some jewelry, a shirt, and best of all - three books. What a treasure! Mom sent me the letter. 

The firemen aren’t coming for supper or any more meals. They’re moving camp and picked up their chairs and tables from where they’d been eating here.

​The kids got restless during Robert’s talk. When he went out the door, it was like the dam broke. The kids burst into activity and noise. More than once, they had to be told to turn down the TV, stop shouting, etc. We were inside because it was cold and raining.

5 Years Across America; Year 1 - Wyoming; August 26, 2006

Saturday, August 26, 2006

​It was still raining from last night, but some people still wanted to go on short rides. By mid-morning, it had started to rain very hard, then hail. We got a radio call that the riders were coming in. They arrived at lunchtime and we had mulled wine and hot chocolate waiting for them, as well as a roaring fire. Lunch was ready, but they were too excited to eat. Finally, at 12:15, Filip, the ranch owner, let the staff eat first, then the guests followed. 

I tried two sips of the wine and didn’t like it. It smelled and tasted bitter.

Some staff here are really touchy about their laundry. They leave it in the machine long after the cycle finishes, then swear the walls down if someone puts it on the table. We only have one washer and two dryers. I figure, if you don’t get it within a few minutes of the cycle ending, you should expect to have your laundry touched.

5 Years Across America; Year 1 - Wyoming; August 27, 2006

Sunday, August 27, 2006

I have a half-day (8-1) today and Monday and Tuesday off. If I wanted to take a weekend trip, it would be perfect, but I don’t feel like going anywhere, especially at the last minute.

​I spent 2.5 hours after work cleaning my room and the bathroom. I cleaned and disinfected both sinks, showers, and toilets, and mopped the whole floor. I think the one set of toilet and shower hadn’t been cleaned all season, maybe longer. I don’t use them, but they’re near my space and I wanted them clean.

5 Years Across America; Year 1 - Wyoming; August 28, 2006

Monday, August 28, 2006

I went on the guest ride today. We went to Cowboy Cabin, except Ford couldn’t find it, so we did some riding off the trail, looking for it. The guests were good sports and nice people. 

I rode Wyatt and fell in love with him. The rhythm of his walk feels like I would walk and he speeds up and slows down in almost the same places I would. I liked the saddle, too. My left knee, which had begun to hurt 30-60 minutes into the other rides, never gave me any particular trouble. In fact, I only got uncomfortably stiff in the last hour, and it didn’t really hurt until I got off but couldn’t walk around much because I was holding Wyatt until Ford could tie him up.

Then the pain hit my knees, moved to make me nauseous, and then proceeded up to make my ears ring. At that point, Ford was close, so I gave him Wyatt and sat down to take a few deep breaths. As soon as I started walking around, I was fine and the stiffness quickly left.

5 Years Across America; Year 1 - Wyoming; August 29, 2006

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Another day off today and another ride. I didn’t want to do a 6-hour, so I was with the day riders. Wes is taking us and letting me ride Wyatt again.

We were supposed to ride to Soda Lake, but the day riders didn’t get here until 10:30 and they had to be back by 2:15, so we went as if we were going to Cowboy Cabin, but stayed in the sage plains. On the way back, we rode up a steep hill that I’ve thought about climbing. That gave us a nice view of the valley and the Tetons. 

The ride was just long enough. Anymore and it would have been painful. As it was, just below my knees was stiff and sore, but I could still use my legs. I am very thankful I didn’t go on the 6-hour ride.

5 Years Across America; Year 1 - Wyoming; August 30, 2006

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

​Monday, I rubbed a raw spot about the size of a nickel in the middle of my hand while loosely holding the saddle horn when cantering. Well, I didn’t want it to get filthy on the ride Tuesday or to keep bumping it with my finger nails and causing myself pain, but there’s no way a Band-Aid would stay on there, even if I found one the right size. Nobody had any medical tape, but in the tack room, they had vet wrap. Mila put some gauze around my hand, then secured it with neon green vet wrap. 

I love that stuff! I don’t know why I never heard of it in music school. It’s so flexible, even with my entire palm wrapped in two layers of it, I could still play the flute with no problems. 

Today my hand is wrapped in purple. It looks like I broke my hand or am getting ready to box. The bandage is quite impressive compared to the minuteness of the injury.

Yesterday, I played my flute in the loft of the lodge. People hear me and think it’s a radio. Listeners say the arched ceiling makes my sound fill the lodge. I play as quietly as I can and still they hear me loud and clear. I would love to be able to hear it.

When I get especially tired in this place, I start to feel lonely. Then I want to start walking and just keep going. The hills in particular attract me. I stare at one hilltop and it pulls me. I want to go over it. As I can’t, I usually walk to the entrance of the ranch. If I can’t do that, I do what I did as a child - keep on living.

I feel like all the emotions and uncertainties and change that are supposed to happen to teenagers are happening to me these past two years. Not the physical changes - those are at least a decade past, but the “where do I fit in” and “what am I supposed to be doing” feelings that come now aren’t so easy to live through. 

When I was in college, I always was convinced that I was exactly where I was supposed to be, doing exactly what I was supposed to do. Now, I’m fulfilling a dream, so I’m not unhappy, but I know at the core, I’m a musician. I just don’t know completely what I want to do with that.

5 Years Across America; Year 1 - Wyoming; August 31, 2006

Thursday, August 31, 2006

​I’ve been thinking about why swearing is bad. All I can come up with is, “Swearing is bad because it indulges the baser nature and contributes to a society that neither practices nor values respect or honorable and noble actions.”

The problem with my reasons is that they are based on the assumption that being respectful is good. I don’t know that anyone would seriously say respect is bad, but they might say it isn’t necessary at all times. They might also say that swearing is not disrespectful because it is used so much that it has lost its effectiveness. 

The problem with trying to convince people to do right is that they first have to admit that right has value. I don’t think human arguments can bring them to that point.

Emailing college friends are like a lifeline out here where there is no one I can get to be friends with or really talk to. If I get lonely, I can only imagine how hard it would be for a Christian who is also a “social butterfly.”