Book Reflection: Warrior Girl by Carmen Tafolla

CEFR Level B2-C1

This is not a sponsored review. I completely read a book before I review it.

I recently finished reading Warrior Girl, a novel by Carmen Tafolla. If you’re feeling overwhelmed by current events in the US, I think you would benefit from reading this book. It isn’t long, it’s a story, and the writing is easy to read.

Instead of doing a formal review, I want to share what I wrote the morning after staying up too late to finish the book. What I’ll read has quotes from page 52 of the book. I'll indicate those sections with an asterisk after them. You can also hear me read this.

Could It Mean Me?

“It doesn’t matter if 
I AM a great writer
Or not
Or if the poems I write
Aren’t perfect.
It only matters that they’re in
MY voice.”*

I read and wonder
Could she also mean me?
And yet,
And yet…

Children are told
It doesn’t matter,
Just try.
Your voice has a say.
Don’t let perfection get in the way.

People love reading what a child wrote.

Adults, adults are different.
Be perfect.
Just try
But only if you’re funny
Or an expert
Or beautiful
Or have friends who will make you thousands more.

People don’t care to read what any old adult wrote.

“It only matters…[Your] voice.”*
Could it be? 
Does she also mean me?

I was given my voice.
I showed up with courage.
I tried and failed and cried
And tried.
Then somehow
I had a voice.
And yet,
And yet…

I did my best, but I didn’t know,
Didn’t understand.
I’m sorry
You had to suffer
Because I had to learn.
I don’t want another
Olivia, Justin, Qan, and more.

What right have I to say anything?

Much better to be silent.
Learn.
Let the experts,
The brave,
The foolish
Have their say.
And yet,
And yet…

What happens when I spend a lifetime learning,
Never saying?
What good does that do anyone?
Someone is speaking.
Why can’t it be me?

“It doesn’t matter if… 
[The things] I write
Aren’t perfect.”*
Could it be? 
Does she also mean me?

I took a chance.
I wrote what I meant.
I felt like I did something bad 
And also
Powerful.
Honest.
Seen.

Sometimes professors don’t want to read what a student has to say.

And yet,
And yet…

A friend said,
“That’s powerful.
You’re a good writer.”

But they don’t know
All I don’t know.
How scared I am,
Wanting
To not cause harm
While saying what 
Can’t stay silent?

(Or maybe they do and don’t care. People can be smart like that.)

A friend said,
“You have something.
Protest and teach.
I want to hear all you have to say.”
And yet,
And yet…

Could Ms. Yáñez also mean me?

“It made me cry 
(In all the best ways.)”

“Thanks you for speaking
For the vulnerable.”

“You’re funny.”
(That’s the first time I wasn’t scolded for using humor.)

“It’s about service,
Not perfection.”

Am I a bad person
Because I care 
What others think?
Feel more brave
When someone says,
“You can do this”?

Who taught me that friends are suspect,
That good people aren’t supposed to care,
Aren’t supposed to listen to what others say 
(except for The Authority, of course)?
​ 
Who insisted that responsible, healthy, desirable people
Act out of their own strength,
Not needing the support of friends 
(but God’s support is good, as long as God agrees with The Authority)?

“It only matters that they’re in
MY voice.”*
Maybe,
Just maybe…

One day
I will make someone
Very, very angry.
I hope -

I know
I’ll cry.

I hope -

I then invite my friends to a party,
Celebrate writing something
Meaningful enough
To be threatening
To those who fear
Living seeing others as themself.

This crazy dream,
Could it be
Service
Overcoming perfection?
Hope
Overcoming fear?
Action
In spite of regret?
Friends
Soothing my wounds?

Could it be?

Maybe,
Just maybe…

Ms. Yáñez 

Somehow

Maybe

Just possibly

Also means me?